Dear Professor Brad Blackstone, I am You Cong and I studied Automation and Mechatronic System with a Minor in Business Management from Ngee Ann Polytechnic. My interest in engineering came about when I was in secondary school, as I find myself constantly curious, and always on the lookout for new problems or solutions to existing problems. This sparks my interest in engineering as I can potentially solve a real-life problem. On top of that, I believe being able to come up with a solution is not enough, but able to discuss and pitch your ideas to others is equally important. The problems will never be solved if the solutions are not communicated well. Hence, I chose business management as my minor. My communication strength is being able to pitch my ideas to other fellow engineers and potential investors. As someone who has gone through both engineering and business management courses, I am well-equipped to communicate with others at ease. With my vast engine...
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ReplyDeleteHi You Cong,
ReplyDeleteReally nice pitch of yours, nice background, neat attire. You adding some keywords into your presentation is a ++ point.
Just that maybe when presenting, you should saying things like the job is very simple. You can rephrase in a way for example like " A process engineering job might sounds simple, but my job scope requires me to blah blah blah". Since its a pitch for employment, if the job is simple then my question to you, why do I need a diploma or degree graduate to do the job? Well this might be my personally POV but that is what came to my mind upon hearing your pitch.
You also put yourself in a spot. You introduced you applied for NP in engineering and minor in business. However in the later stage you said you only realise you will be taking both engineering and business when you entered the course.
You can use more of "I" than your when you were explaining yourself.
It is really nice to see you use some form of hand gesture like the "machine never be smooth". It was a smooth action and I find it satisfying despite a small gesture.
Your conclusion, "I hope. that my vast knowledge in engineering knowledge and me being someone easier to communicate with, I hope that I will be a part/potential candidate for your company."
You have mission connections to connect your sentence and best to avoid things like, I hope to help your company as well, might feels like you are comparing company. Can put it in a neutral or upselling yourself position, like , " I am looking forward that my strengths are what your company looks into, and I hope to be part of your company"
I love the end of your pitch as you includes the internship company you work for for reference.
Thank you, YouCong, for this informative and well focused pitch. I'm glad to see you've included some production elements as well.
ReplyDeleteHello YouCong! I definitely enjoyed listening to your insightful and confident pitch.It's great to hear about your initiatives and effective communication skills shown in your experiences. However, I do agree with Philbert about the paraphrasing of certain parts in your speech.
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